When it comes to networking, we know one thing for certain: First impressions are key. So to help you overcome some common networking hurdles, we compiled a few tips:

Don’t forget to introduce yourself (and remember people’s names)

This is huge! While you don’t always need a formal, this-is-me elevator pitch, we do recommend preparing a little something ahead of time. It’ll help you sound (and feel!) more polished. 

So exercise your self-confidence and whip up an introduction. Include details about your background, what you do, and mention some of your other interests (think volunteer work like Ad 2, your alma mater, or where you’re from). Don’t make it long, just have a few points queued up. And be yourself! People will remember you better if you are your normal, quirky (yet professional) self. And if you’re not quirky, then people will remember your wicked intelligence or experience or wit. After you finish your spiel, ask what they do. Be genuine and listen.  

And don’t forget to get their name.

There are a couple of ways to remember people’s names. Say it a couple of times aloud in conversation (naturally, of course), or repeat it in your head when you first meet them. You can also find a creative way to tie their name to something you know about them. For example, if I met a Connie that liked dogs, I might create a quick sentence in my mind, “Connie likes Corgis.” It doesn’t have to be smart or make sense to anyone else, but it has to be memorable for you.

Keep in mind, remembering people’s names is something we all struggle with, so don’t be hard on yourself if you stumble. That said, it’s equally important to keep in mind is that remembering people’s names and what they tell you about themselves makes people feel listened to, respected, and heard. And in turn, it makes you look competent, capable, and interested.

Find common ground

You want to connect with people beyond their professional lives because, let’s be honest, there’s only so much work chitchat to be had. Find out what they like to do in their spare time and see what you have in common. This will make it easier to talk to them next time you meet, and it’ll make you more memorable. 

Common ground is kind of what humanizes you in conversation. It’s your opportunity to express yourself beyond work stuff, and it’s your opportunity to explore the different facets of other people’s lives, too. 

And you know what they say… All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Be interested and listen (psst, it’s not all about you)

Don’t make the conversation solely about yourself. Me-talk is boring. So make sure you involve the other person—and ask questions! For example, what are their hobbies or what are some of their other interests? This is a great way to find out what else you have in common, and it’s sure to create a more meaningful engagement.

Know your audience

This is adult talk for “do your homework.” Networking is tough, especially if you don’t know anyone. But don’t forget, the reason you’re there is the same reason everyone else is there—everyone is trying to build their networks. Networking is all about meeting new people and figuring how to build a win-win relationship for the both of you. To do that you, do some research about the people and companies attending the event. This shows you care, have a genuine interest in what people do, and gives you strong talking points.

Pre-event research not only gives you the opportunity to learn about the people you’re meeting, but it also gives you a chance to learn about what they do. Unlocking the knowledge of their craft can give you a whole new skill to explore and learn about. Plus, it gives you enough background to relate to others in future conversations. 

Help others before you help yourself

What’s the best way to get others to help you? Help them first! Just don’t ask for anything in return—at least not immediately. After all, the title of this blog is how to network without being a dick. 

Don’t worry, though, you’ll get returns at some point. But giving and asking for something in return isn’t cool, and it’ll likely diminish your network, not expand it. Remember, everyone wants to network—people want to enhance their careers and meet other like-minded people. So be patient, kind, and respectful.

Don’t be desperate (and don’t ask for a job)

Don’t make your engagement about finding a job. This is a quick conversation killer, especially when others are surely (and naively) asking the same question. You’re there to grow your network, connect, and stand out. This industry is small. You don’t want to burn any bridges.

People like straightforward, but people also like tact.

Don’t talk trash about other people

Be professional. How you speak about others is a reflection of your personality, attitude, and work ethic. People notice trash talk, and they’ll just think they’re next on your list. Of course we don’t like (or need to like) everyone, but unless you already have an established relationship with someone, you don’t want to make a bad impression by spewing off worthless negativity. Beyond that, you don’t want to waste time speaking negatively about others when you could be speaking positively about yourself, finding out how you can help each other, and building rapport.

Don’t get drunk

Don’t take a stance on pineapple and pizza. If the event you’re at is serving alcohol, remember to keep it professional—and don’t get drunk. First impressions are critical, and, again, you don’t want to burn bridges.

End the conversation with a reason to follow up

This is a great way to keep in touch with your newfound connection. Find a reason (other than getting a job) to follow up with them and meet in a different environment. You want to continue building the relationship, potentially learn some new skills, and/or expand on the ones you already have.

Keep networking

Networking is a skill in and of itself. No one starts out knowing how to network well. It’s something you have to practice over and over and over again. Learn from other people, and don’t be afraid. 

Did someone nearly break your hand when they shook it? Make a note not to do that. Did someone make you feel heard by using your name to say goodbye? Make a note to do that! We all know what it’s like to meet new people, and we’re all just trying to do our best.